Genesis-138 – Guilty Though Innocent

Genesis 44:1-16

"Then Joseph gave this command to the steward of his house: 'Fill the men’s sacks with as much food as they can carry, and put each man’s silver in the mouth of his sack. Then put my cup, the silver cup, in the mouth of the youngest one’s sack, along with the silver for his grain.' And he did as Joseph said. As soon as the morning was light, the men with their donkeys were sent off. They had not gone far from the city when Joseph said to his steward, 'Go after those men at once, and when you catch up with them, say to them, “Why have you repaid good with evil? Isn’t this the cup my master drinks from and also uses for divination? You have done a wicked thing.”' When he caught up with them, he repeated these words. But they said to him, 'Why does my lord say such things? Far be it from your servants to do anything like that! We even brought back to you from the land of Canaan the silver we found inside the mouths of our sacks. So why would we steal silver or gold from your master’s house? If any of us is found to have it, he will die; and the rest of us will become my lord’s slaves.' 'Very well,' he said, 'let it be as you say. Whoever is found to have it will become my slave; the rest of you will be free from blame.' They all quickly lowered their sacks to the ground and opened them. Then the steward proceeded to search, beginning with the oldest and ending with the youngest. And the cup was found in Benjamin’s sack. At this, they tore their clothes. Then they all loaded their donkeys and returned to the city1. Judah and his brothers came to Joseph’s house while he was still there, and they fell to the ground before him. Joseph said to them, 'What is this you have done? Don’t you know that a man like me can easily find things out by divination?' Judah replied, 'What can we say to my lord? What can we say? How can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered your servants’ guilt. We are now my lord’s slaves—we ourselves and the one who was found to have the cup.' " Amen.

 

Joseph's Plan: Testing His Brothers

The content of this Chapter 44 describes the scene where Joseph sends his brothers back to Canaan once again. This narrative is, in fact, directly connected to the preceding content, as the division into chapters and verses in the Bible was decided in the Middle Ages for convenience. The ending of Chapter 43 and the beginning of Chapter 44 flow naturally together.

 

What happened at the end of Chapter 43? There was a feast. Joseph invited his brothers to his house for a great banquet. The brothers were initially very confused. Imagine how surprising and tense it must have been when the Prime Minister of that land, the one who oversaw all affairs, commanded, "Come to my house."

 

They accepted the invitation and a truly grand feast was held. Initially, they hadn't realized it was a feast. On their way, they worried that they might be summoned and imprisoned due to the goods they had taken before. They must have prepared various excuses. However, they eventually realized that a celebration was taking place there.

 

Joseph's Special Affection for Benjamin

During this feast, Joseph meets Benjamin for the first time since childhood. Upon seeing the young man, Benjamin, Joseph’s immediate words are, “May God be gracious to you, my son.” This tone was completely different from what he had used with the other brothers. The tone, however, had appeared once before, specifically when Jacob sent his sons, saying, "May God grant you mercy," or "May God be gracious to you." Joseph’s words directly echo those of Jacob.

 

More importantly, the word used here for 'grace' or 'favor' is the Hebrew word ‘rachamim (רַחֲמִים)’, which appears only twice in Genesis: once when Jacob speaks and once when Joseph speaks to Benjamin. It is clear that Joseph used this word intentionally. This is because the root of the word comes from the term meaning 'mother's womb.' Thus, it often signifies 'tender mercy'—a gentle and compassionate mother's love, bringing to mind the warm embrace of a nursing mother. Joseph spoke these words, "May God be gracious to you," with such deep affection.

 

What we must note here is that Joseph and Benjamin were full brothers, born of the same mother. How deeply Joseph must have felt when he spoke these words! Benjamin was the youngest and the most vulnerable compared to the other brothers. Remembering what he had suffered in the past, Joseph might have worried that Benjamin, too, might be harmed by his brothers.

 

Joseph, therefore, felt a special affection for Benjamin, and this feeling was clearly revealed during the banquet. After giving him words of blessing, Joseph's heart was overcome with love and longing. While he felt no such emotion for the brothers, who had sold him and were his enemies, the sight of Benjamin overwhelmed Joseph with uncontrollable emotion, and he wept. The Scripture records, "Joseph's affection was stirred, and he wept." He burst into tears with the emotion of a separated family finally reunited after many years. However, once the weeping subsided, Joseph immediately regained his composure and resumed his detached demeanor. This was because he still had a meticulous plan to test his brothers.

 

The Silver Cup Incident and Joseph's True Intention

Looking at Joseph's plan to test his brothers once more, it does not appear to be intended to throw his brothers back into prison, nor to merely punish them or cause them distress. This is clearly revealed through the content of the test.

 

First, the feast itself was a clue. Although the atmosphere of the feast was pleasant, the brothers were seated separately. And at the end, Joseph gave Benjamin a portion five times greater than the other brothers. If the other brothers received one portion each, Benjamin received five. Through the feast, the brothers could clearly see that Joseph greatly cherished Benjamin and that all his attention was focused on him.

 

Thus, the core subject and focus of Joseph's current test is 'Benjamin.' The test unfolds like this: After the feast, Joseph calls his steward and instructs him, “Take this silver cup you use and place it in the sack of the youngest boy, the one you saw today. And put the money they paid for the grain in their sacks as well.” The steward carries out the instruction exactly as given.

 

The next morning, the brothers happily set off. They had kept their promise to their father, proved their integrity by saying, "We are not thieves. We brought back the money you gave us," and successfully completed their mission to buy grain and bring Benjamin back. They seemed to have successfully completed their journey. However, a short while later, the steward of Joseph’s house came rushing after them.

 

The steward spoke words that stunned everyone: “Why have you repaid good with evil? The silver cup my master uses—even for divination—is missing. Only you were at the house then. That is why I have come this morning. How could you do such a wicked thing?” In reality, the person who placed the silver cup in the sack was the steward himself. Is this not an example of the thief turning on his victim? But listen closely to how the event proceeds.

 

The brothers would naturally jump up in protest. “There is no such person among us.” Think about it: they were the ones who had inadvertently brought back the money found in their sacks to Canaan, causing a major problem at home and forcing them to return to Egypt. Does it make sense that the youngest, Benjamin, would steal a silver cup knowing all that? The brothers' next statement overflows with confidence: “If any of us is found to have it, he will die.” This is a promise similar to the one Jacob made when he argued with Laban over Rachel (Joseph’s mother) secretly taking the idols (teraphim): “It cannot be true. If the person who has it is found, they will die.” Jacob did not know, and these brothers, too, had no idea, which is why they were so confident.

 

So they opened their sacks one by one, starting with the oldest brother. When nothing came out, they thought, “See, it was not to be found.” But completely unexpectedly, the silver cup was found in the sack of the youngest brother. Brothers, is this not strange? The brothers initially took the money in their sacks unknowingly, which led to a major crisis and their necessary return. But the youngest, Benjamin, who was well aware of the situation, would not have brought it with him. The brothers must have been utterly dumbfounded by this scene. The Scripture records that they tore their clothes, reloaded their donkeys, and returned to the city.

 

There are two points we should focus on in this incident: Joseph’s story and the brothers’ story. Looking at Joseph orchestrating this, he shows little interest in the older brothers. As at the feast, the entire focus of the plan is on Benjamin. Regarding the brothers’ earlier promise, “If it is found, he will die and we will all become your slaves,” Joseph says, “Let it be as you say. Whoever is found to have it will become my slave; the rest of you will be free from blame. I will only hold this one deed against the rest of you.”

 

When they returned and stood before Joseph, Joseph repeated the same sentiment. When Judah and his brothers all tried to reason, Joseph said, “I will certainly not do that. I will not take all of you as slaves. Only the one in whose hands the cup was found shall be my slave, and the rest of you go back to your father in peace.” This clearly means he had no intention of putting the brothers back in prison. He had no reason or intention to cause them trouble. In fact, where was Joseph’s intention focused? On keeping Benjamin with him. He placed the cup in Benjamin’s sack, and only the 'thief' needed to remain as a slave—Joseph wanted to take Benjamin.

 

God's Providence Working Through Joseph's Plan

Do you understand Joseph’s heart, which loved Benjamin so much? As I mentioned, Joseph orchestrated this entire affair because he wanted to keep his youngest brother with him, fearing Benjamin might suffer more harm from the older brothers. So, Joseph planned this entire setup. But while Joseph planned all this with the intention of focusing on Benjamin and keeping him, God’s plan was different.

 

God used Joseph’s entire intention—the plan that focused on Benjamin and sought to keep him in his house—to accomplish His own plan, and truly astonishing things continued to happen afterward. Because of this incident, Judah steps forward, Joseph weeps profusely, and the family is reunited. Joseph intended to save Benjamin, but God saved the entire nation of Israel. Brothers and sisters, through Joseph’s plan, we sometimes miss the way God works His will. We sometimes think that simply doing our best is the entire story.

 

We make many plans, whether in the church, at home, or in business, thinking, "This is how it will succeed." Our attention is focused on immediate matters. We focus first on which medicine is best in the quest to stay healthy, or sometimes we focus on the method of making money, or sometimes we devote all our thoughts to how to raise our children well. These are not bad things. It is natural for you to do so, but for a believer, the path we plan and walk—raising children well, staying healthy, securing retirement, accumulating more wealth, buying a better car, or moving to a better house—even with good intentions or slight greed, when we calculate and plan to achieve these things, into what larger framework do all your plans fall once God has adopted you as His child?

 

They fall within God's framework, meaning that even those activities are used by God as tools to fulfill His plan. I merely strove to make money, but God is raising me to be a child worthy of Him. I simply struggled and failed at work, but God is using that incident to shape me and accomplish His work of preparing me as a people for His eternal kingdom.

 

Brothers and sisters, is this not amazing? My life is simply a sequence of plans based on my own foolish and unwise thoughts. Perhaps some of you are worried, “Oh, this church service is difficult and tiring, and I barely made it here. Will the worship even be meaningful?” Perhaps others feel, “I must somehow come and sit here,” or perhaps others are overwhelmed and feel, “Lord, I come before you to worship today” with a beating heart. Each person’s situation may be slightly different, but the plan God has for you is perfectly clear and ultimately the same for everyone.

 

God's Ultimate Plan: Eternal Life

We call this Eternal Life. Eternal life does not mean simply living forever and ever. Eternal life is enjoying eternal joy with God’s people as God’s children, eternally delighting in God the Father who created us, and sharing eternal love with Him.

 

The Scripture states that God, who saved that person, never gives up on that path for a single moment but continues to bring it to completion—so that they become that person, capable of that work, so holy, and so righteous. Within this, you eat, work, and hold onto your own plans to some extent. Sometimes you make foolish plans, and sometimes you follow your own greed. But I am here to tell you that even these things are being accomplished by God within His overarching plan. And this is actually being realized.

 

Brothers and sisters, what did people who knew this message think first? 'Well, God, if I mess things up, will you fix everything?' Wouldn't they think that? God used Joseph, who merely wanted to take his brother Benjamin and live with him, to save all of Israel. So, we might say, “I'm going to be a little greedy and try this, God, and since You'll use all of this to eventually make something good, I'll live according to my desire this time.” Can't we say this? Right? Does it sound a little strange? No. Try it! Then what will God do? Yes, He will break and smash that plan again to ensure you do not forget His purpose, and He will guide you toward that purpose and bring it to fulfillment, won't He?

 

God's Discipline and Methods of Use

Brothers and sisters, what is the best thing a parent can do when a wayward child refuses to listen? To discipline them. To raise the rod, and thus you receive the famous discipline. The writer of Hebrews says, “A son receives discipline. If there is no discipline, he is not a son.” From the sincere decisions you make in serving God, to even your mistakes, God never loses sight of His ultimate purpose.

 

That is why I said this is so amazing, isn't it? How does God use even my mistakes and my foolishness to build His kingdom and righteousness? It is truly astonishing. This is what happened in Joseph’s life, and it is what is happening in your life right now. Brothers and sisters, this is not a matter of hearing today’s sermon and thinking, “Joseph had such experiences. I might have them too, but I don't really know how God works.” What did Joseph know? Did Joseph really know that he would weep so profusely over this incident, or that Judah would step up in that way? He knew nothing, yet God’s work was miraculously accomplished. In the same way, God’s work is currently active, happening, and bearing fruit in your life.

 

Then, what a worthwhile life we have! It is nothing short of amazing. Of course, we do not like making mistakes. We do not like failing. We all want to succeed, and we all want to do well. We want to be outstanding and hate falling behind anyone else. I understand, because I am the same. If someone called me a “pastor who cannot preach,” would I be happy? I would not say, “Thank you, Lord, for making me a pastor who cannot preach.” If someone pays me a compliment, even empty words like, “Pastor, that was a good sermon,” I might think, “Surely a pastor appointed by God is different,” wouldn't I?

 

How amazing is this in God’s sight? Our mistakes, our foolishness, the fact that we do not even know what lies ahead—isn’t that right? In our foolishness, as we live swaying between ‘I wish I were a little healthier, I wish my cold would go away, I wish I had a little more money...’ God does not discard or belittle even our lives, which are lived in such turmoil. Instead, He cherishes it and ultimately brings us to completion as His people whom He is creating.

 

Brothers and sisters, those of you who have been in faith with me for a long time must know, haven't I become a little more presentable than before? No? I feel I am a much more selfish person than others in my self-interest, and I am one of those who are very weak in relationships with people. I learned how to love people too late, little by little, and so there are many times when I do not know how to truly love people. I lived thinking life was about enjoying my own merits, so my mother often told me I was “too cold” when I was young.

 

How do you feel? I am presenting myself as a sample. Is God not good? Ah, am I still lacking? That's fine too. I am not satisfied with myself, but I am satisfied with the me that God is making. I am not happy with myself, but I rejoice in the life that God is fulfilling. Even if my life is rough, even if nothing is visible ahead and it is difficult, I will still strive to walk that life joyfully because God is holding onto me.

 

Brothers and sisters, that is what happened to Joseph. The full details of that will be covered next week.

 

The Brothers' Self-Righteousness and the Discovery of Guilt

But there is one more thing you must consider, and that is the story of the brothers, which is slightly more difficult and darker. In short, this is it: The brothers thought they were doing well. From the beginning, the central issue of the entire story has been 'Are you honest?' and 'Are you truthful?' When asked, “Are you not spies who have come here to do this to us?” they consistently insisted, “We are honest men.” It is the same now.

 

“How honest are we? We are the people who even took the money you mistakenly placed in our sacks all the way to Canaan and brought it back. Is it reasonable that we would now steal a silver cup?” This is their strong protest.

 

However, brothers and sisters, there are crucial signs that have appeared continuously from the beginning, indicating the direction of this story. One of those signs is the word we know well: ‘silver.’ They bought Joseph for twenty pieces of silver, and now the silver cup appears again. Another equally important word is ‘slave.’ They sold Joseph into slavery, and now the brothers repeatedly say, “Make us your slaves.” The place where they are saying this is Egypt, and the people they sold Joseph to were slave traders on their way to Egypt.

 

These words appear constantly, non-stop. It would be strange if they did not realize the connection. They knew it from the start: “We wronged Joseph. We are suffering the exact same thing.” Already, the story of Joseph was coming back to their memory.

 

And finally, this realization reaches its peak. Look at what is said. The most important verse in this story is verse 16. I hope we can read it together. (Verse 16) Start. “Judah replied, ‘What can we say to my lord? What can we say? How can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered your servants’ guilt. We are now my lord’s slaves—we ourselves and the one who was found to have the cup.’”

 

Brothers and sisters, did you notice anything strange when you read this? The beginning sounds like this: “What can we say? What explanation can we offer? How can we show you our innocence?” This expresses a feeling of being wronged. “We are not the kind of people to do that.” At that point, they should keep pressing, “Demand the evidence! It can't be us,” but then what does he say?

“God has uncovered our guilt.”

 

This is a complete reversal. He doesn't just say, “Since you looked and found the silver cup in our house, we apologize.” Instead, he confesses, “God has uncovered our guilt.”

 

The story is this: The brothers were confident and happy. They were on their way because they had done everything and demonstrated their integrity. In our modern language, they thought of themselves as ‘righteous.’ They were feeling good about themselves and rising. But suddenly, when the silver cup appeared in Benjamin's sack, what happened was that all the integrity they had claimed was shattered by that cup. Yet, they felt deeply wronged. They hadn't committed this specific crime. They had not stolen the cup. But this was the situation.

 

They were arguing, “We are not the people to do such a thing. Why would we bring the money all the way from Canaan and then take it all ourselves?” And suddenly, a large screen appeared behind them as they spoke. On that screen were the slave traders and the brothers. The brothers were asking, “How much can you give us?” “About twenty pieces of silver.” “Alright. Take him away then.” And Joseph appeared.

 

Brothers and sisters, they stole one silver cup. Because they stole the cup, they had said, “If this is found, kill us.” “Kill him.” But what had they done in the past? They stole a life. They stole his twenty years. They made his most blooming years those of a slave. They brought complete ruin and stole his entire life. They did this, yet they claimed they were honest, they claimed they were faithful, and they insisted, “I am only telling the truth.” Now the real truth has emerged. The signals kept coming. So, what Judah is saying here is this:

 

“God has finally found our beam [guilt].”

 

We are mercilessly, almost disgustingly, harsh toward others sometimes. How clearly we can see the sins of others, and how clearly their words resonate in our ears! But conversely, we are boundlessly, indeed infinitely, lenient toward ourselves. Yet, no one thinks they are being lenient toward themselves, because we all think we are not like that. We relentlessly hurt other people's feelings and quickly rationalize it, saying, “Ah, I didn't mean to.” Brothers and sisters, we may be claiming innocence, but we fail to realize that we are actually guilty.

 

Casting Off Self-Righteousness and Putting on the Garment of Christ

In a way, this is what happened to the brothers. That is right. They were men of integrity. By the Law of Moses, you could call them blameless. They did not steal from others. When they suspected even slightly that they might have taken something, they returned the money. They kept their promises. Thus, they were convinced they were honest and truthful. In our terms, I am a model student in the church. A model student in hearing God's Word, praying, and all these things.

 

Brothers and sisters, there is an illustration shared by the pastor F. B. Meyer. An evangelist went to a church and preached the Gospel. He spoke about how much we need Christ. He also preached about the Lord’s grace, explaining how pitiful our own righteousness is. One of the church elders (in the Korean church context, a Gwon-sa) was sitting in the front row, listening to the sermon, when she suddenly posed a question:

 

“Pastor, then does this mean that everything I have done—my efforts to diligently listen to the sermon every Sunday without fail, reading the Bible, praying regularly, and sometimes trying to do good deeds by helping those in need—is all for nothing?”

 

It was a difficult question. The preacher responded:

“My dear believer, there are only two paths for us. One is the way of relying on what you have done. The other is the way of relying on what God has done through Christ. If you choose to rely on what you have done, you will go before God with your own works. And you will receive God’s judgment based on those works. How just is that? You can go before the righteous God with your own deeds.

 

However, the other reality is this: as we know, there is no one who can stand before God relying on their own righteousness, relying on what they have done.”

 

The other path is to go, not with what we have done, but with what Jesus has done. And to present before God the work of Jesus Christ. God will judge you based on what Christ has done.

 

Hearing those words, the elder fell into deep distress. She prostrated herself on the floor and began to weep. “God, I am tormented. Does this mean all my efforts, everything I have strived for until now, are nothing?” In our terms, missionary trips, volunteer work, diligently cleaning the church, even paving a road for the church and participating actively in those efforts... Does this mean there is no credit for any of this? Is this truly the case? Wouldn’t it feel like negating her entire life? After living that way for so long.

 

But as she wept, she stood up and cried out, “That’s right, all of this is nothing. Give me Jesus, the garment of Christ.” It was because nothing else could stand before God.

 

The Danger of Zeal Without Christ

Does believing in Christ, then, mean abandoning all those previous works? Does it mean they are useless? No. The moment you believe in Christ, the moment you put on Christ, all those things come alive. They gain meaning. They have meaning in Jesus. They are not my boast, but since they are deeds I performed through Christ’s grace, they become reasons to thank God. This is not something to show others, but rather to confess, “God, that such things came from a person like me—how could someone like me cherish others, or love anyone? How could someone who only cares about myself, like me, care about the hearts and minds of others? This is all Your grace.”

 

That very deed contained the Gospel within it. And through that Gospel, we live.

She encountered her true beam (guilt), and that beam was the sin of trying to stand upright before God by her own efforts. She herself never knew how terrifying that was. She served God diligently. But she didn’t realize that serving God would become her own source of strength. She worked hard to live according to the Lord’s will. How beautiful is that? But she did not realize that while she had great zeal, her direction was fundamentally wrong.

 

If you hold onto Jesus, things will be fine, but do you know what happens if you hold onto this 'zeal' and fail to hold onto Christ? You don’t need anyone else to point it out. As you increasingly hold onto these works, Jesus becomes less and less necessary. Your volunteer work will substitute for Jesus, and your Bible reading will substitute for Jesus. Even if you read the writings of brilliant theologians, listen to great people, and read the Bible very diligently, all those things actually start to push Jesus away.

What becomes important is not Christ, but how many times I have read the Bible. What becomes important is not Christ, but how many hours I have prayed. And this is not just an internal matter; you begin to compare yourself with others. “How much have I prayed, how much have I read the Bible, how much have I served, and how important is the work I am doing in the church?” That becomes the most important thing.

 

“I am the Pastor” begins to matter.

 

“I am the Elder, the Deacon” begins to matter.

 

The opposite also happens, but it is fundamentally the same issue. Brothers and sisters, without Christ, we are nothing.

 

If we do not discover where our true sin lies—that great beam, that log—we may end up living our lives constantly focused only on our problems. This is because our problems keep coming and coming, even as we solve them, and it can appear as if they are the things moving and shaking our entire lives.

 

Brothers and sisters, the ‘honesty’ they claimed contained twenty years of lies. They had simply suppressed the fact that they had sold their brother due to jealousy. They truly hid their real beam. Who was genuinely hurt, and who was ignored? Who truly brought ruin? We are very accustomed to hiding and covering up our sins. Since we love ourselves so much, why would we easily expose our guilt?

We defend the ugly side of ourselves so easily. To what extent do we defend it? We defend it so that even Jesus cannot enter. We prevent the Lord from entering. And we try to cover up our lives inside that space alone. That is why we cannot exit that door. What happened today was the breaking of that door. And we call that ‘Grace.’

 

Where Does True Security Rest?

God pouring out His grace upon us means that the door has been broken. We come to know who we are. We thought that the matter we spoke of daily—barely, “Healing my sickness, my sickness being cured, God, please heal me”—was the most important part of our faith. We thought solving those issues was good, and we believed we had managed to solve them by clinging to God, and that was our testimony. But one day, we are confronted with the reality:

“That your soul is corrupted, and what your true desire is.” Who we truly were as people striving for something.

 

Brothers and sisters, how frightening modern society has become! In one sense, I am grateful that you consider it natural to go to the hospital and take medicine when you are sick. This is because many people with incorrect beliefs often think that simply clinging to God is enough for God to cure all diseases.

 

God provided sickness, doctors, hospitals, and pharmacies, all through His own hand. However, when we understand this, a question arises. Are you cured by going to the hospital, seeing a doctor, and taking the medicine prescribed? Or are you cured by God's grace? Well, both happened together.

No, brothers and sisters. Will your retirement be taken care of by Social Security? Or do you rely on God? I am not telling you, “Ah, so you can survive just by holding onto God, even without Social Security.” I am not saying that.

 

It is beautiful to live by being thankful to God for the things He has given you, to use them wisely with all your intellect, and even to save money and prepare for the future. However, if you start relying on those things instead of relying on God; if those things lead your life, if your work sustains you, if the money you earn makes you wealthy, and if you mistakenly believe that the very act of living is powered by that strength, then, brothers and sisters, God’s hand vanishes. The heart to rely on God disappears.

 

How subtle is Satan? Satan allows you to freely use the immense blessings God has generously given you in this world, and then makes you rely on them. Brothers and sisters, how natural is it for us to enjoy the blessings God has given? We thank God for appointing good doctors. We thank God for creating good medicine. We thank God for every program or method that helps us prepare well for our retirement.

 

However, the One you must rely on is God, who has permitted all those things to us. When the Lord is present, we realize “where the true strength in my life lies” and we can remain unshaken.

Brothers and sisters, although you put much faith in America—and I am an American who also hopes that America will not waver—will America last forever? America is a country that is barely 300 years old yet. Our Republic of Korea has a history of 5,000 years, yet it was once colonized by Japan. While the length of a country’s history does not guarantee its defense, we should not believe that America is so unshakable. Brothers and sisters, do not trust in your citizenship; trust in God. Is that not an obvious truth?

 

I believe this is a time of God’s grace. When is that? When we realize the beam: “Ah, what do I rely on to live? I say, ‘God, Jesus, Jesus, God, praise, Jesus, praise,’ but do I truly believe in money, or do I truly believe in the doctor, the medicine? Or do I truly know that my life and my existence are in God’s hands and act accordingly?” It is at that time that He wants you to examine yourselves.

 

Truly, He wants you to know who holds onto your life, and why your life is secure.                                                                                                                                              

 

Is that not grace? That is why we need to be broken a little. We need the things we relied on to be broken. That is why God so often allows us to experience painful moments and difficult times. Why must we be broken? Precisely like these people, like the brothers.

 

There is a man you know well, Charles Colson. He was involved in the Nixon Watergate scandal and eventually served time in prison. After meeting Jesus in prison and starting a life of faith, he was released and started the famous Prison Fellowship, earning the respect of many. Charles Colson became a significant figure because a high-ranking government official converted to Christ and changed, but he became even more prominent because he was theologically sound. He diligently studied God’s Word and built up his faith.

 

The Discovery of the Beam and True Happiness

This gentleman once shared a story, found in his book (which you may have seen in a book by Pastor James Boice). I have an excerpt, but I find it difficult to locate the book itself as it is very old. The title is Loving God, an autobiographical work. In one part, he tells this story:

 

It looked like I was giving a testimony to the inmates today. As I stood up to give my testimony, many thoughts raced through my mind: “How much God had prepared me to get to this point?” I thought about how I wrote my thesis at the Ivy League school I attended, how it was passed, how I rose to a high-ranking position, receiving scholarships, filing and winning lawsuits, and deciding to assist Nixon when he asked for help—I thought God made all those things happen, making it easy for me to come to this prison and do everything I needed to do here. Then, at that moment, I was suddenly startled and realized:

 

“God did not use my success to help hundreds of people in this prison and similar places. All my achievements were meaningless in God’s providence. No, the true legacy of my life was the greatest failure: being a ‘convict.’ The greatest humiliation of being sent to prison was the beginning of God’s greatest use of my life.”

 

Brothers and sisters, do not be too upset when you discover your beam. When I tell you to look at your beam, you might think, “Is this pastor attacking me?” Yes, that is right. I am attacking you right now. I hope it pierces your heart like a sword.

 

I pray that you discover the beam within yourself, that you realize “who you are” before the Lord, and that you experience the true happiness and genuine security that you will receive and enjoy because of that realization. A security that nothing in this world can shake. I hope you know your absolute lowest point and, because you have seen that lowest point, you have nothing more to lose, nothing more to gain, and nothing can shake you more than what is already within you. Having reached this floor, what other floor is there left to hit? I hope you encounter that place.

 

And I hope you hear the Gospel of Jesus. Because of that Gospel, the Lord who rescues and loves me—me, the bottom of the bottom—is my Lord. What shall I fear? What shall I be dissatisfied with?

 

Let Us Pray

God's compassion is sometimes cruel. It is a cruel mercy.

Seeing who I am is painful, and piercing the self I love so much is truly difficult.

When I realize it alone, I listen to that voice with humility. But when God’s Word or another person points out and pierces that spot, it can sometimes only bring pain, making me focus only on my wound, and failing to see my own beam.

Lord, grant us to stand before Your Word.

Help me know my bottom, realize again who I am,

and simultaneously remember the Lord who loved me, even me.

We pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.